Just whn i was readin a friend`s blog at 11 plus last nite, obviously her second entry`s referrin to me.
Actually i`ve already typed out a draft n haf decided to mail it to her mailbox after i printed all e pages out. I was searchin for her hse address durin midnite too coz i rmbed i used to send her xmas cards durin sec. sch days. The next mornin, i realised tat mailin took at least two or three days to arrive at her household. Initially, i wanted to put it P&C. (private n confidental.) That means i wanted her, alone to noe abt it. But now, NO!
Girl, you noe miee well. You noe i hate to leave things tangling whn things happened. I wondered if u`ll bother to read my entry or might felt tat i might be makin up stories here. Now, frankly speakin, wateva it`s. i wanna tel you how i feel.
Seriously, i dun feel good after readin tat entry. I duno how many times u make miee cried again and again. Eversince we became best souls since sec. sch days, i noe u`ve been there for me. I can feel your existence, lovess, care and concern.:)
Whneva I`m sad, u used to say u won`t want to ask miee why bcoz i noe tat u wanted to care but u juz duno how to. Just like often i read your blog entry, u`ll state wateva mood u`re havin each n every day. Whneva u state tat u`re sad, blank etc. I wanted to ask you why too, but i dared not asked`s bcoz i dun wanna make you more sad n add on to double unhappiness inside you. I used to try to ask you, be it msn etc, u`ll only reply mi a "smiley face" or i rmbed you used to sae "nth". At tat moment, u might not noe tat i wanted to help you, listened to your problems etc but i juz duno how to.
That goes to askin miee out. Who saes tat i dun wanna ask you out or gathered up w you?! Take e chalet, snow city n zoo as an example. Yes, i noe tat i used to tel you i`m intendin to plan a chalet. As u noe tat I`m workin, i couldn`t find a suitable 3 days 2 nights. If i were to plan fri, sat and sun?! i could only attend on fri after work, sat if i`m not workin n sun. I tot of it n i felt v bad if i`m a planner. As i`m workin permanently, e truth is I couldn`t take leave so easily. Even for my grandma case, i can`t even take leave. i could only visit her after work. Sumore, i noe you girls`ll b there whn i organised.:) Stil, i really felt tat there`s really few pple. Mayb a few pple here n there, but den it really involves alot of work done. As u noe bbq etc, i`m not cut out for it. Simple as it`s, i wanted all of you to enjoy e chalet but den i dun wanna see or plan a "failure chalet" like wat my ex. class 4d 2 yrs ago did.
As for snow city, i tink it`s a misunderstandin. I stil rmbed we were chattin abt this at msn happily and surprisingly, u told miee u`ve never been there before. So i went to check out e prices frm my frendx n i showed u her blog. After u read, u gave feedbacks and stuffs like tt. We even tok abt e snow make of ice. I really rmbed we were discussin how dis-interestin it was as such, i tot tat u dun wanna go anymore!!:(
And for zoo, yes, i promised you tat i wanna mit up wya and go zoo with you! How could i 4get tis?! Stil rmbed whn we 3 girls gathered up, i stil rmbed one saein she dun wanna go bcoz it`s smelly or sumting like tat etc. I really rmbed her saein tat! Surprisingly, u told miee in msg tat she sae ok, i was stunned with words. And though i knew tat she sae she dun wanna go, i stil rmbed one day too. Whn i accompanied you to wait for your love to end work outside mac, u brought up tis ting again. I rmbed tellin you tat i`ll plan one after cny n it`s on e mth of march. How could i 4get tat?!
I duno if it`s bcoz i did not bring all these stuffs up means i gave empty promises?! I admit tat i`ve many frendx but doesn`t meant tat i met up w those frendx, i never wanted to mit up for outings n gatherings with you animore. At e same time, u noe tis too. I used to say tat if one`s in love (bgr), one of e reasons`s bcoz i dared not asked you out bcoz i`m afraid tat u`re busy. Tat`s why it`s oways best if i follow your date n timin nt unless i`ve already planned sumting on e same date too.:)
Girl, I`m nt givin excuses or composin an entry juz for e sake of confrontin myself or etc. I`m serious. As simple as tat, i just wanna tel you how i feel.:)
Reasons why i state all these is bcoz i really treasuress you! Noe why i`ve decided not to mail e letter to your mailbox? I dun care if tis entry is made known to all my other frends who noe you or who duno you, i juz wanted to blog a long entry out (shout out loud) to tel you, i REALLY TREASURESS YOU MAYBELINE! If bcoz of tis, our friendship juz ended like tat n make a full stop to it, i wondered.....
Wat i wanna sae is tat hopefully is bcoz; (as u used to tel miee. bf and friendship is equal) so " I can see tat you take friendship juz like relationship too much tat you took things too seriously" Tat`s why you`re so pissed off w miee?! I`m just bein too frank to you here. Hopefully, u`ll sms mi after u saw tis long entry. Plz dun sae it`s mushy. Last but not least wat i gonna sae is tat, if bcoz of tis reason, i tink i`m very lucky n touched tat u`re one of e frends whom i adoresss way deeep inside my heart.:) This is wat i means "true friendship!":)
Gonna go slp now. coz i`m down w slight fever once again.:(
11:10 PM
gimme kisses
